February 2012
35 posts
He comes through
I just witnessed the most amazing miracle from God…I can barely believe this…
Lately I just don’t feel like talking to anyone…I don’t want to stop for small talk and gossip about this and that. I just want to be left alone and not have to deal with anyone…
Why are you so lovely? And humble? And an all round good person? Things would be much easier if you were horrible..then I wouldn’t have to feel bad when mum knows I talk with you..I just want everyone to get along. But even I know that’s a task far beyond my capabilities. That one’s in God’s hands.
Where is the way out?
Dad came in and said how much he appreciated the note I wrote him. (I put it on his pillow before I went to bed) He looked like he could cry. I told him I still have faith that one day he will have better relationships with my brother and my sister. That there is still hope and it will happen. My heart breaks for him…he’s physically and mentally exhausted! He pushes himself for job...
This constant sickness is hell…! I can’t eat but I’m starving. All I want to do when I wake up each morning is sleep for the day. Lord, please grant me some relief!
Lord, where has all my energy gone? Where is my motivation. I can’t seem to run like I did. My mind is slower and I don’t want to deal with political people or do the work that I’ve always done..
My whole body feels like absolute shite x 100.
Hungry. Exhausted. Lonely.
I’m sorry I let you down..I never meant for this to happen. Things were planned. Good things, exciting things. And they’ll still happen. But this changes it all. How can I possibly be good enough to be so responsible? I guess there is no say in the matter now. It’s all happening and there’s no way I’ll stop it. LORD, protect us. Guide us. Give us grace. Forgive us....
Why am I having so much trouble focusing today?? I just want to be somewhere else…in another country would be good. I need something new, something different. Another challenge, a way of breaking free from the same old, same old.
Fitblr Post.
18:26 min/sec exercising (jogging tonight), including 4:30 warm up, 4:30 warm down so that’s 10 minutes straight of jogging!! I feel so accomplished :) especially since I started out only being able to jog for 2 minutes straight. Progress is satisfying.
January 2012
45 posts
I don’t want to be here! Everything in me screams get out! That sick feeling never leaves my stomach. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I let people down everyday. I can’t be what they want. I don’t want to deal with their political shit everyday. I’m sick of it..
LORD, I can’t seem to find a way out. I’m too scared of not having security. Get me out...